Thursday, August 31, 2006

Greatest Inventions Of All Time

Here are the four greatest inventions of all time, in order:

1. Fire
2. The Internet
3. The Wheel
4. The Sandwich

I think that the Internet deserves more hype as an invention. It has truly changed society more than any invention in hundreds of years. I have nothing against the wheel, it was a really good idea, but the Internet ranks a bit higher in terms of its ability to bring the world closer together and change... well, everything. Think about how we shop, how we communicate, how we locate information, how we spread lies and misinformation, how we advertise, how we learn... most importantly, how I am still able to follow these Mets despite being 588 miles from Shea and having a work/school schedule that keeps me away from the television during game time.

Again, no slight on the wheel, but only the Internet allows me to write such gems of comments such as these:

I'm real glad that Matsui looks so happy in Colorado. I'm especially happy that he can be happy without the Mets carrying his dead weight through the playoffs.

I love the misery in the Bronx related to Carl Pavano. Just when you thought Junkee Stadium was a lovefest, this schmuck creams a garbage truck in his Porche and decides not to tell the team he's been pitching with busted ribs for three appearances. Brilliant.

David Wells is available? No thanks. Ever since he dissed Bobby Valentine, this ex-Junkee is off my Christmas card list. And I send out really good Christmas cards.

The Mets called up Anderson Hernandez today, over Edgardo Alfonzo. That's just not right.

Mets Magic Number is 16. Today's Magic Number is brought to you by Doc Gooden.

The Mets have the best winning percentage in baseball. Go screw yourself.

Lets Go Mets.