Friday, June 30, 2006

Bring On The Junkees!

I couldn't be happier that the Mets lost last night. Of course I would have preferred to have won the series than to have lost it, but after losing the first two, a sweep is even better than losing two of three. Why? Because it messes with the Yankees chances of making the playoffs. And with the Mets maintaining a healthy lead on the wife beaters, the only thing sweeter than the Mets making it to the World Series would be having the Yankees fail to meet them there because they couldn't even sniff October.

Do you want to know why Mets fans can't stand Yankees fans? No, it's not because of their "arrogance". Every team has arrogant fans, and there are many arrogant fans who wear orange and blue. Maybe I'm an arrogant Mets fan. Who cares?

No, the real reason Mets fans don't like Yankees fans is because we don't respect them. When you see a person wearing a Yankees hat or shirt, they are most likely:

A) A fourteen year old girl who never watches games but thinks Derek Jeter is cute

B) An out of towner who never watches games but wants to glam on to New York in some way

C) A bandwagon jumper who couldn't tell you the starting rotation or who played 1st base before Tino Martinez (or Jason Giambi for that matter).

Are there real Yankees fans out there? I mean real fans, who can actually recite the 25 man roster and wax poetic about the Jesse Barfield days? Yes, of course. But even most of those fans are in complete denial about their scarcity. Yankees fans think everyone should be Yankees fans. They look around and see a sea of pinstripes and think everyone else must be crazy. They'll welcome any clown and accept him or her as a true Yankees fan, just like George Steinbrenner will accept any enemy (Roger Clemens, Johnny Damon, Wade Friggin' Boggs) into pinstripes and annoint him a true Yankee. (Except for A-Rod. You gotta love that.)

Mets fans are different. We feel very confident that when we see a dude with an orange and blue cap that he's a real fan. That he can cry with us about The Worst Team Money Can Buy, about Juan Samuel or Gregg Jeffries or Generation K. That he'll agree that Keith Hernandez should be in The Hall and that Mex was the best first baseman in New York. When it comes to real baseball fans, the Mets own New York. We don't crave quantity. Yes, the Yankees have won more World Series and sell more hats, but the Mets lead the world in Grand Slam Singles, losing last place, and balls that Get By Buckner!

When an impartial observer is around, a typical Yankees fan will tell him or her "You gotta be a Yankees fan. You gotta be. Look at all the rings and look at all of us!" Meanwhile, a typical Mets fan will say to the fan on the fence "I don't care what team you pick. In fact, if you don't care, you might as well pick the Yankees. After all, it's a good time to jump on their bandwagon because it's moving real slow right now. You should really only be a Mets fan if You Gotta Believe"
Note: Of course this applies to anyone besides the Mets fan's girlfriend or wife because we don't need no stinkin Yankees games playing in our house. So if your girl is on the fence it just makes life easier if she develops a crush on David Wright.

So there you go. The Mets did their job of screwing over the Yankees by laying down for the Red Sox. If we have to, we'll beat the Sox in the Series. Surely fans remember how that went last time? Now, it's time to turn it on. It's the back end of our rotation (El Duque, Trachsel, Soler) head to head with the back, I mean front, I mean is this seriously the Yankees rotation?

Lets Go Mets!

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