Wiphbeaters. Phillies Add Another Jerk To their Pitching Staff

The Phillies have obtained AAA right-handed reliever Julio Mateo from the Mariners for minor league shortstop Jesus Merchan .

This past May, Mateo was charged with third-degree assault after police said that he struck and bit his wife in a Manhattan hotel room.

The Mariners suspended Mateo for 10 days without pay for missing a game without permission the day after he was arrested, then optioned him to Class AAA Tacoma.

Today, Mariners GM Bill Bavasi said that "In discussions with Julio Mateo and his agent we agreed that Julio would be best suited to returning to the Majors in a different city," Bavasi said. "We had been looking for that opportunity for a while now, and were able to accomplish it today."

The Phillies are the perfect spot for this jerk. Mateo should get along great with fellow spouse-assaulting teammate Brett Myers, who is currently rehabbing from a shoulder injury. Fortunately that shoulder injury isn't from beating his wife, but unfortunately it's not from getting beat up by somebody, either.