Mr. Wendell Lyrics

Here, have a dollar, in fact no brother, man here have two. Two dollars means a snack to me, but it means a big deal to you...

Remember Turk Wendell, that crazy pitcher who wore bones around his neck and used to slam down the rosin bag between pitches? That same Turk Wendell was in the news this week as he asserted that "it's physically impossible" for Sammy Sosa to have put on thirty pounds in one offseason and become the prolific hitter he became in the late nineties. Some quotes:

"Here's a guy [Sosa] who goes from 30 homers to 60 homers every year, and just as fast he's out of baseball. Can't get a job. How's that work?"

"Everybody in Chicago knew what was going on, just like everybody in baseball knows about Bonds," Wendell told the Herald. "The coaches knew. So did the managers and owners. How could they not know?"

"Then, Jose Canseco comes out and says it and everybody rips him, and now everything he said was true. A lot more will come out about guys who nobody's talking about yet, too."

Then he makes an even more dire prediction:

"You still see Yogi Berra and Phil Rizzuto and Johnny Pesky around, but this era of players is going to be dying early," Wendell told the Herald. "The stats don't lie. The stuff will kill you."

Oh, Turk. Ya gotta love him.