I swore to myself that I wasn't going to write one word about the umpiring tonight. Even after home plate umpire Tim Tschida blew the call on Prince Fielder's "home run," I thought to myself that there had been too much complaining about umpires lately. But after Tschida threw Dirty Sanchez out of the game for hitting Clark, I realized there was a conspiracy at hand. A conspiracy based on jealousy. And it all goes back to Jose Valentin.
The only thing I can figure is that Tschida was jealous of all the screen time Valentin's pornstar mustache got tonight, and he just couldn't handle it. It was one thing for Valentin to get the start, and it was another for Valentin to get a pair of RBI's in the sixth. But once Valentin homered in the top of the eighth, Tschida lost all his composure and reason, and that's why he tossed Sanchez in the bottom of the inning. Leave it to LoDuca to ruin Derek Turnbow Bobble Head Night, and secure The Battle Of The Mustaches in the Mets favor. Mets win 9-8.
Oh, and by the way, Aaron Heilman should shut the hell up about being a starter and do his job.