David Letterman's Top Ten New York Yankees Excuses

Truth be told, even though a Mets/Tigers World Series would put World Series games just barely within driving distance on the weekends, I'm rooting for the A's in the ALCS because I'd love to see the Yankee killers shut down so I can say a mediocre team eliminated the Junkees in the first round. I'm rooting for the Athletics, even though their fans are waving giant French Fries in teh stands. What is with that?

At any rate, today, October 10th, I am cosing the books on teh Yankees through the end of the World Series. Joe Torre is coming back in 2007, and Pinella's not getting hired by them. From 2001 - 2005, sometime around August I always had to switch from being a Mets fan to a Yankees hater. But not this year. So from this point until November, I am not going to even acknowledge that another team plays in New York besides the Mets. After all, for the rest of 2006, no other team does! In honor of this day, I'll simply post, from last night's Late Show, the Top Ten New York Yankees Excuses:

Top Ten New York Yankees Excuses

10. Wanted Columbus Day off to get to all the sales

9. Thought series was best 6 out of 11

8. We've already missed the first three episodes of "Grey's Anatomy" -- enough is enough

7. Thought Joe Torre told us to give 10 percent

6. Players distracted by erotic text messages from Mark Foley

5. Shouldn't have switched to the cheaper generic steroids

4. Clubhouse caterer replaced E. coli-tainted spinach with E. coli-tainted lettuce

3. Uh, global warming?

2. More focused on how they're going to get by on a lousy $16 million a year

1. What's the point? North Korea's gonna nuke us at any moment